this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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