It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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