Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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