I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
