Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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