With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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