So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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