Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
