my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
