All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize