check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
