Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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