Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
