U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
