How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
