toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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