Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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