So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
