sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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