I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
