This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Sext me about skeletons
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
