It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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