Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
