I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
