i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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