New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Barsexuality is the new black.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
