i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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