guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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