It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
