goodnight i made you a song goodbye
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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