I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
