I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize