We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
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