Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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