i just identified you from a description of your pipe
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
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