my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
