when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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