I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize