Acid is not a monday night drug
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
