drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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