You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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