i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
