Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
