Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Randomize