Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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