I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
You did what with his pubic hair?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
