He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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