I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
