If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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