I need help removing her.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
last night I used snow as a chaser
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
