Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
