Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
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Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
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I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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