no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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