this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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