I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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