His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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